How to Find a Queer (or Queer-Friendly) Elopement Photographer Who Gets You

So, you’re ready to elope—ditch the stress, the weird family drama, and the cookie-cutter wedding expectations. Instead, you’re going for something that actually feels like you. But now comes the next challenge: finding a photographer who truly understands your love, your identity, and your vision.

If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, you already know that not every vendor is as inclusive as they claim to be. Wedding photography is deeply personal—you don’t just want someone who “accepts” you; you need someone who celebrates you. Someone who understands queer love, queer joy, and queer storytelling.

As a queer-friendly elopement photographer in Missouri (and beyond), I know firsthand how important it is to feel safe, seen, and fully yourself in front of the camera. So, let’s break it down:

• What makes a photographer truly LGBTQ+ inclusive
• Questions to ask before booking
• Red flags to avoid

By the time you finish this, you’ll know exactly how to find someone who’s not just a photographer but a hype-person, an ally, and a storyteller for your love.

What Makes a Photographer Truly LGBTQ+ Inclusive?

They Don’t Just Say “Love is Love”—They Show It

Anyone can slap a rainbow emoji on their Instagram bio and call themselves an “inclusive” photographer. But that doesn’t mean they actually understand queer love. Look at their portfolio—do they actually feature LGBTQ+ couples? Do their captions celebrate queer relationships in a way that feels natural and genuine, not performative?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard from couples who had a “queer-friendly” photographer… only to end up feeling like they were treated as an exception, rather than just another wildly-in-love couple.

They Understand That Queer Love Stories Are Unique

LGBTQ+ couples don’t always follow the traditional wedding script, and that’s what makes your elopement so special. A truly inclusive photographer will celebrate that—whether it’s:

• A wedding party that doesn’t conform to “bridesmaids” or “groomsmen” labels
• Two dresses, two suits, or no traditional wedding attire at all
• Non-traditional ceremony elements, like handfasting, tattoo exchanges, or a mosh pit instead of a first dance

You deserve a photographer who gets it and encourages you to throw out the rulebook.

They Know How to Pose You Without Forcing Gender Norms

A lot of traditional wedding photography relies on outdated, gendered posing—like “Okay, now the groom stands strong while the bride leans into him all delicate-like.” (No thanks.)

A queer-friendly photographer knows how to direct couples in a way that feels natural to them. They won’t force one partner into a more “masculine” or “feminine” role if that’s not authentic to your relationship.

They Create a Safe Space

Elopements are intimate—you want to be able to be fully yourself without feeling like you’re being watched under a microscope. Your photographer should:

• Use your correct pronouns without hesitation
• Ask questions about what makes you comfortable (and actually listen)
• Make you feel like you can be in love in front of the camera without feeling awkward

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Questions to Ask a Photographer Before Booking

So, how do you make sure a photographer actually aligns with your vision before you book them? Here are a few questions that will give you instant clarity:

1. “How do you approach photographing LGBTQ+ couples?”

This will tell you right away if they actually have experience or if they’re just hopping on the “inclusive” bandwagon. My answer? Sometimes, I kinda feel like they’re all I shoot.

2. “Do you have experience with non-traditional weddings and elopements?”

If they’ve only shot traditional, posed ballroom weddings, they might not be the best fit for a laid-back, alternative elopement. My answer? Once again, they’re all I shoot!

3. “How do you ensure your posing isn’t based on gender norms?”

If their answer is, “Oh, I just treat all couples the same,” that’s a bit of a red flag. LGBTQ+ couples aren’t the same as straight couples, and pretending there’s no difference usually means they don’t know how to highlight your unique love story. My favorite way to actively fight back against gendered posing is to simply utilize composition and your heights. Fellow tall baddies, I got you. Shorties, I got you, too!

4. “What locations would you recommend for a queer-friendly elopement in Missouri?”

Photographers who specialize in Springfield, St. Louis, Kansas City, or the Ozarks should be able to suggest locations that feel welcoming, safe, and fit your vibe. Whether you want an urban backdrop or a secluded nature escape, they should have real recommendations.

5. “Can I see a full elopement gallery?”

Instagram is a highlight reel. A full wedding or elopement gallery will show you how they capture emotion, storytelling, and all the little moments that make your day yours.

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Red Flags to Watch Out For

Unfortunately, not every photographer who claims to be inclusive actually is. Here are some major warning signs:

🚩 They have no LGBTQ+ couples in their portfolio (walk the walk!!!)
🚩 They only show stereotypical wedding poses (aka, every couple looks the same)
🚩 They use gendered language on their website (like “brides, grab your groom!”—no thanks???)
🚩 They act like working with a queer couple is “different” instead of just normal
🚩 They hesitate when you ask about pronouns, posing, or LGBTQ+ representation

If something feels off, trust your gut. Your elopement is way too important to settle for a photographer who doesn’t get it.

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Where to Find a Queer-Friendly Photographer in Missouri & Beyond

Okay, now that you know what to look for, where do you actually find an inclusive elopement photographer?

1. Look at Local LGBTQ+ Wedding Directories

Websites like Equally Wed and Dancing With Them have curated lists of truly LGBTQ+ affirming vendors.

2. Search for Keywords Like:

• “Queer-friendly elopement photographer Missouri”
• “LGBTQ+ wedding photographer Kansas City”
• “Alternative wedding photography Midwest”

3. Stalk Their Instagram & Website

Check their actual work, their captions, and their tagged photos. Do they show real queer couples? Do their clients feel celebrated? That’ll tell you everything you need to know.

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Let’s Make Magic Together

If you’re looking for a tattooed, beer-loving, punk-rock photographer who actually gets what it means to be an LGBTQ+ couple planning a non-traditional elopement, hey, that’s me.

No stiff poses, no weird vibes—just you, your partner, and a badass love story that deserves to be captured exactly as it is. Whether you’re eloping in Springfield, Kansas City, St. Louis, the Ozarks, or beyond, I’d be stoked to help bring your vision to life.